On the first day, we’ll get to know each other. 

• We’ll talk about your relationship—key points in your history, and how things are going now. 

• We'll explore how each of you experience your negative patterns.

• Then I’ll meet with each of you separately.

 

On the second day, we’ll dig into the work, fleshing out the primary negative pattern.  We'll map your negative cycle and get to the heart of the matter.  You’ll also practice turning toward each other to share your experience and show your care.

• What insecurities or fears do you have about your connection—and what sets them off?

• What vulnerable or reactive feelings come up?

• What story do you tell yourself about what this means?

• How do you cope?  What do you do?

• And how do some of your behaviors set off your partner?

 

On the third day, we’ll take the work deeper.  Our goal is to help you have “corrective emotional experiences,” where you have success in being vulnerable with each other.  We’ll learn and practice …

• Repair—how to reconnect

• How to understand and care about each other’s “raw spots”

• How to have a “Hold Me Tight” conversation—where you talk about your feelings and needs and experience your partner’s care

 

Along the way, we’ll begin to address tender topics, as needed …

• Injuries or betrayals

• Sexual relationship

• Trauma from growing up or from other relationships—and how it impacts you now

• Impact of oppression (e.g. racism, heterosexism, targeting trans people)

• Neurodiversity (e.g. does either partner have ADHD, autism, or other differences)

• Other points of difference or tension

 

Finally, we’ll identify what you need for follow up, so you can continue connection and repair.​​

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